I am having a trying day… yes, present progressive (oh jeff, you should be so proud that I named the verb tense for my sentence). Have tried to unpack and now my room looks like the mall has exploded on it. I have bags, shoes, clothes hanging and lying around in a very aftermath-of-the-war kind of manner. Then I’ve got wine glasses used from different days here and there, a red wine stain on the carpet that looks like a dancing bunny, and a cup of soy milk that is more soy yogurt by now. 

I woke up to a heavy email. Being the narcissist I am, I took it personally and replied in defense. Anger is a tricky emotion for me… at times when people think I should be angry, I can’t assess it, then it randomly  pops up and embarrasses me. Regardless, I know i wasn’t really replying to the email, I was replying from my inner critic and guilt. I am sorry, and I am sure I’ll continue to make lots of mistakes, treat people unjustly and be thick and unloving… but know that I really do want to be loving, fair and good. 

Then I saw Patricia and got therapeutically spanked. 

anyways, it’s getting late, i am exhausted. It took a few hours before I could finish this blog and I can now say, that I was having a trying day… (past progressive, jeff!!!!) I am happier now : )

confront me confront me
it is what i ask for
confront me when i am in a stupor
confront me when i am weak,
blinded, careless, teeth-showingly defensive, closed…
and confront me when I am not
confronting myself,
confront me when i ask you to
stop.
confront me even if it hurts.
don’t leave me to me.