Sabrina is not coming home tonight… so I am here, walking around naked, and blogging…

A few nights ago I dreamt of a whale. I sometimes do and always love it. It was night time in this dream. I was on a bridge across an ocean. It was dark and windy and underneath the bridge, a huge whale in the night ocean. It jumped under the bridge making giant waves in the sea. The bridge swung and I held onto to a pole. I could slowly walk across. I knew I had the option, but I didn’t. I held onto the pole and stayed on the bridge watching the whale jump again and again. Any second I could be thrown into the ocean, but I didn’t want to leave. I felt small in the presence of the whale… and the feeling of not having any control both scared and exhilarated me. 

I haven’t felt so present in awhile… today I was in my own skin… my body contained me. The heat helped. My pores rejoiced in the hot air. I could feel the small beads of sweat on my nose, behind my neck, falling down between my breasts… i was born in the summer heat… and in this heat, i feel most at home…