I’ve been feeling a little off since yesterday. I was really vulnerable and every little thing people did around me had an impact on my emotionality. It was good to spend some time with anthony. We went on a drive to UBC. His energy was positive, excited but grounded at the same time which was calming to be around. He said he was “more grounded than grounded coffee.” That kid is such a joy. 

There’s still quite a bit of sadness for me surrounding dad and ching. On my good days, I am at peace with the way they are able to love me, but then there are the bad days. Writing the memoir these past few days stretched the little crack open and I got to remember all these things and witness them through my eyes today. We were such sensitive children living with such insensitive adults who were just busy tending their own wounds. And what would I do without sabrina and anthony? If i didn’t have them, how on earth would I learn to love and know what it feels like to be loved? The three of us listened with our little pounding hearts to the violent breaking of their marriage.

It is all in the past now. I am just in a funk today. It must be the weather.