01.15.09
music, wine and stained lips
WooT! I love red wine!
I was going to have a movie date over the phone with sabrina but she feels quite tired after finishing the paper so our date is not taking place… however, i had already prepared myself for the date beforehand by drinking a big glass of shiraz. So i ended up being tipsy without a date ;p
So I practiced cello. then i played the guitar and i found the djembe in sabrina’s closet and did some serious drumming. and i sang. MY GOD, i had so much fun!!! anthony walked in my room and was like… i can’t concentrate with you drumming all over the place! there’s no tempo! hahaha… he was like.. but you look good with the djembe, and i was like, really? and he said, no, i don’t want to encourage this. Haha.. too late… I am already liking it too much… now i am going to make noise everyday.
my lips get really stained from drinking wine. I just thought i should mention this to make the blog more fitting to its title.
I love music 
this one is for you, by the sea.
there’s really not much i could do for you. all advice, support and love pour from me to you, but not really to you. there’s something that guards you, something that wants to keep you. people are tired of this blockage. after all, what is a friendship when the connection is missing. i look at you through the glass wall. no warmth. and try to remember once upon a time. i don’t know how much longer i could stay here, just looking at you. i want to stay, stay until you break out. this is a lonely place you are in and if eye contacts are all i could offer you, i will have to be okay with that. i guess, i just want to say that our friendship makes me feel powerless. i could kiss you a thousand times and hold you till you fall asleep, but what would it take for the love to stay in you and not fleet, leaving you again and again hollowed. i don’t like to give up, especially on people. i don’t like to walk away. i am the abandoned and i know how it feels. so, i will stay here and just look at you if that’s all i could do. i’ll look at you. but please come out soon.
morning
I had such a great night sleep. I kept forgetting that I had bach’s cello’s suites on low… and every time i woke up (i wake up a lot throughout the night no matter what), it’d take me a few seconds before i hear the music and i’d think, what is this? it sounds beautiful! so i was pleasantly surprised a few times throughout the night.
sabrina has been really stressed about her paper on prostitution in china. I can relate to her anxiety. I still remember the hell week before the holiday started. My God, worst week of my life.
Okay, i just spent an hour talking to sabrina on msn, now I really have to get going. But the point I wanted to bring up is this, the paper is there. We know it’ll be done and its existence sits solidly in the future. The stress and anxiety are unnecessary. This is true for many things in life… like my cello. I can’t wait to rock. And i know i will. I just need to arrive. There’s no doubt that it’s there. Yap. okay.
