Heading out for a walk soon, the weather is so gorgeous. I love sticking my face to the sun and just soaking it up. I can’t wait for my freckles to burn and buzz. I think it’s going to snow tonight, so I am going to get out and get some solar energy before it becomes scarce again. 

I went to the doctor today after neglecting to check in on my blood test for the past three months. Well… the nurse said it’s not urgent. Good news. I am completely healthy, not lacking in B complex, iron, protein… and I am STD free, WoooOt! ok, i wasn’t worried about that one, just in case some of you are frowning now. So, the past year and a half of being a vegan has not done my health any damage. I am pleased. 

The other day I was telling a friend that I feel the biggest sacrifice I have made with the decision of becoming a vegan is that I can’t really cook for the ones I love what they really love to eat. And it’s not that I can’t even touch meat, I just don’t like feeding people food without knowing that it tastes good first. Well… since Eric and I started dating, i’ve made him udon with chicken meatballs and an mushroom/olives omelet. I have no idea if the omelet was seasoned properly. The point is, I have decided that as much as it is important for me to be a vegan, it’s just as important that I get to cook for people. I don’t want to have to make this sacrifice. So, that’s where I stand now. And I apologize in advance if things don’t taste right… i really wouldn’t know.

Lately I’ve been inspired to practice lots of music. I am enjoying the sounds of the cello much, much more now. The cello and I now have a more easy going relationship. I just like holding it. My right arm is a bit stronger now and I could hold the bow for a little longer, sometimes even throughout the entire 30 seconds of a small song… and I  really like just plucking the strings. It sounds completely different but really beautiful. I’ve also been really enjoying playing with the guitar. Dad came back and because he wants to play with me, he decided to get a new guitar. He will be taking Obby back so he got a new guitar for me. She is gorgeous and she sounds great… well… when Dad plays, she sounds great. And I’ve been singing more, which I’ve always wanted to do. I feel really lucky that there are so many people around me who play. Eric is such an amazing musician. His voice is so beautiful and when he sings, he sings. I love watching him play. He’s one of those rare individuals who stays in the moment and when he plays music, his presence is really delivered. And Dad. I don’t think Dad could be more himself than when he holds the guitar and sings. It’s hard to describe. You’ll have to see him in action to know how much the guitar just becomes part of him. And I think he’s got the best singing voice. It is inspirational. And Danny. I had asked Dad to bring back the Djembe he’s not using so I could lend it to Dan. When I went over to his place, he just kind of handed me Lucille and picked up another guitar and started playing. I think it’s funny how he claims to be cynical and jaded but his tenderness and sweetness are so transparent, especially when he sings, especially when his sister walked in. And when he tried to teach me, it didn’t seem hard to grasp. Then there’s Mark. I don’t think there’s anything I don’t love about Mark. He’s coming over on Wednesday with his guitar. I am proud that our friendship has successfully survived outside of our carpooling system.

With that said, I haven’t felt very inspired to write much. It may have something to do with my intentionally trying to shut off the chatters in my mind… regardless. I am not scared. I will wait patiently for the words to return. I have faith that they will. It’s usually when I get frustrated waiting for them that they take longer to come back to me. I’d like to paint more, too. I haven’t had one of those nights where I just keep the lamp, music and incense on and paint for hours. I think I would love one of those.

Maki has gotten back to me and we even have the days and time figured out. I am returning to the gym for weight training after three years. It’s both exciting and nerve wrecking. Pushing has not been part of me for the longest time. I think my temperament is very mellow and tender, and weight training has a very different energy to it. It’ll be good for me to balance a little with this energy. 

I keep wanting to mention that Jeff is back. It’s not that I haven’t seen him for too long. It’s just the past few times that we hung out, it didn’t feel quite right. I know it has a lot to do with me dating, but it also has a lot to do with him dealing with his own stuff. And now, I think we have come to a better place again. This is the first time after Matt that we remain friends as I date… I feel like we have passed a test or something. He was on his computer sitting on the sofa. Marilyn sat beside him and I squatted in front of Marilyn to pat her and I was humming a little song and jeff called me the cat whisperer. Although I think Marilyn still dislikes me, or at least, quite indifferent. I am excited that I will be reading him on print soon!

I think that’s about enough catching up… until next time~