So after talking about it for quite awhile, I finally went to one of jessamine’s work functions. She sheepishly promised me her drinking wouldn’t get out of hand. I believed her because I’ve never really seen her drunk. I always leave her parties before Selina (her alter ego that comes out when she’s drunk) shows up. She wore a beautiful green satin blouse, shorts with nice leggings and the scarf grandma knitted for her, looking like the proper lady I had hoped she would remain for the rest of the night. So much for hoping. 

So there I was, meeting Selina for the first time. She was aggressive, angry, flirty, loud, needy, has a problem standing and her eye makeup was smeared. She spoke English better than Jess but I didn’t like the out of focus way she was looking at me. Overall… as much as I don’t think it a good idea to be in that drunken, out of control state… i found her to be quite cute. Next time I’d drink less so I could take care of her better. 

I had a good time though. I like her co workers. They were all very nice. I liked one guy in particular. Although I’ll have to be sober first to know if I really do. From what I could remember, he had nice, attentive eyes, and big hands. 

K came over earlier and brought christmas presents for the family. It made me upset to see him and feel the closeness we used to share missing. I know he’d like more of me in his life, and I do want more of him in mine, too, but it just isn’t time yet. The presents he got for me are so thoughtful it made me cry. He got three books. One is, 101 tips for cello playing (i knew he knew); Yi Shu’s newest book which I haven’t gotten for myself; and a book of poetry called, Poetry of Zen. It’s as if I picked them out myself. Ai. One day we’ll be friends again. 

I get to have dinner over live jazz with one of my favorite people in the world tonight I better not get drunk again…