I miss my grandparents. Sometimes I am gripped by anxiety when I think about how old they’ve gotten and how little time I have left with them. And I just want to fly over to their sides and stay there. Once the spring semester ends I am going to visit Po Po in Taiwan, and Nai Nai in Hang Zhou. And I will see Grandpa in Guang Zhou. I asked Po Po to take good care of herself when I left her last time, “so you can cook for us when we come visit again.” She laughed and said that’s what she thinks, too. 

My relationship with Po Po is made more significant by mom’s death. We look for pieces of her in each other. She’s the mother of my mother, and I am the daughter of her daughter and we find endless traces of her in each other. Po Po shares stories of mom, quotes of mom and dreams of mom with me. She thinks mom and I look identical (it is implied that Mom’s the prettier, more refined one, which I agree). Sometimes I’d say something, hum a tone, or sit a certain way and Po Po would exclaim that it is exactly how mom would do it. I can’t see these things in myself. i can’t identify her in me. I don’t know her well enough. Po Po is the only one who could see mom in me. 

Po Po is lovable in so many ways. She’s full of quirks. She carries a mint stick with her everywhere she goes and believes that it cures headaches, mosquito bites, runny noses/flu and various other ailments. She breaks off an aloe vera stem after she washes her hair and rubs the aloe vera on her head to use as gel/hair conditioner. When someone’s sick, she’d cut open an onion and leave it in the room to kill germs. She loves the rain even though she walks and bikes everywhere. She’s scared of ghosts and the dark… and she’s the most fantastic cook. 

Ok, now I miss her even more. I want to move back to Taiwan and live by her for awhile, but I have school and I want to get a master’s degree… maybe i should finish my BA, go work and live by her for a year and then come back to do more school.

i bought a new desk. It is actually a bar table from Ikea. I bought it for the height because Ross keeps raving about the benefits of a stand up desk physically and creatively. And I’ve been wanting to get rid of my old desk for a long time. I don’t use it anymore. It was just a place where I pile paper and books I haven’t gotten to read. 

So I got a new one and I am really enjoying it. It faces out the window. It has a beautiful wood surface. I am standing when I type which still feels really bizarre. I keep anticipating to sit down before i start the work. This is something I have to get used to. 

Another problem with this stand up desk business is that I am always tired. I exercise everyday, usually I walk, i do yoga and lately I’ve been sprinting. My legs are sore. They are really sore. But I think I will get used to this, too and I do think that standing is healthier than sitting. 

Did I just use a blog to talk about standing and a desk? Yes, I think I just did. 

*look, Donna is at the top right corner of the desk. Sometimes he tries to distract me by doing seductive dances in the tank. He usually doesn’t look at me but I caught him staring at me today when I was working out.

I got a siamese fighting fish, his name is Donna. It’s funny because I wrote a story about a girl named Bonnie and she had a male dog named Teresa. I didn’t do it on purpose. I really wanted to name my fish Donna before I got it and there was only male siamese fighting fish available. So Donna he shall be. He’s too pretty to be an Eric or a Tom anyways.